Last Rounds At Sanctuary
by eden alice
Summary: My version of series three (And it's quite strange)
1. Once upon a time

Authors notes- Damn I pressed the button that made this say it should be funny. Well now I'm stuck. This first part is so not funny. I don't think you'll find it that funny either. (But please still read, please I promise I can do better honest) I had the idea for writing this when I saw the name of a pub on Canvey Island. Which is really boring place sorry if anyone lives there but it is. Any way then I remembered Emma commenting to Adam about a pay rise. (He pays them? With what money?  What is the average minimum wage for superheroes? I bet its more than Batman earned but he was already rich so who cares) so in my twisted brain a story was born. This is just the back story which you should know because your all mutant x fans and everything. If you're not than why the hell did you click on the button that said Mutant X? I'm shutting up now.

Once upon a time there was a group of superheroes called Mutant X. They were lead by a very smart and noble man named Adam. Now Adam was so smart that he was able to manipulate human DNA. At first Adam only used his knowledge to help people but something no one had ever, could ever expect happened. It was something that only seemed possible in comic books. The people Adam had tried to help started to change. They developed super human abilities.

This as you can image came as a shock for Adam and all the people he worked with. What impact would these new breed of humans have on the world? Even Adam did not know the answer to this question. One man however. A man called Manson Eckhart who was almost as smart as Adam but also very, very evil. This man wanted to use these people with super powers, people who were named new mutants to take over the world. To create his own private army. Those new mutants who did not want to follow Manson were vanished away to stasis pods were they could see and think but were unable to move or escape.

Due to his naïve ability to see the best in people Adam did not realise what Manson was up to until it was too late. Manson had already started to put his army together a lot of the new mutants who were angry with Adam for making them different chose to follow Manson. Adam was horrified and refused to join Manson with his evil plan. Instead he left and formed his own cunning plan. He built a modern and minimalist place to live and work. He decided to call his new home the Sanctuary. (He wanted to call it the White House but decided that it would only confuse the postman) The sanctuary was a wondrous place filled with new technology and the ultimate Sony sounds system. (Adam had got a special deal where he got all the best dance music CD's for free with his sounds system. It was a deal he could not resist; as Abba's greatest hits were included) 

You see however Adam did not live happily ever after with his wide collection of doggy music, as he still had to fight Manson's army. Although Adam could make any computer system in the world work he was lacking in the physical department. Being as skinny as a supermodel and awfully uncoordinated meant that Adam could barely reach down to tie his own shoe lasses without falling over yet alone fight a load of super powered freaks. (Adam had decided he could be prejudice to the evil new mutants since one of them tried to shoot him, he had no idea why they did not like him) Using his enormous squishy frontal lobes he came up with the idea that he should make his own army of new mutants. (He decided that he could not have any more than four in his army as that would mean he would have to convert his secret games room into bedrooms)

The first mutant that Adam found who actually liked him was a fifteen-year-old girl called Shalimar. (No, Adam did not get the name either but she was blond so he decided not to question it) Shalimar was a feral and was half cat. She was also very pretty with long blond hair and a rather large chest for her age. (This of course did not effect Adam's decision the slightest) Shalimar had her uses around the Sanctuary. Adam's decision was a clear successes and he soon became _very_ fond of his pet cat. (My god you people have such dirty minds. Just because I put the word 'very' in italics. You all should be shamed of yourselves!) Adam found that Shalimar was a bit of a handful as well though. She was very energetic and ended up scaring the poor postman. (They stopped making deliveries to the Sanctuary soon after. Something about having to use a boat them clime a cliff to get to the post box only to be met by a scary kid hissing at them did not work very well with them)

So Adam used his amazing brainpower once again to decide that Shalimar needed a playmate. He soon found a young man named Jesse. He was the only mutant to shy to tell Adam to get lost. Jesse could transform his body into a solid mass or make it so that anything could travel through him. This worked fine apart from the fact that it only lasted as long as Jesse could hold his breath and just to be ironic Jesse also suffered from asthma. Jesse reminded Adam of himself when he Jesse's age… smart but unappreciated by his fellow teenagers because he was spotty and had braces. The three of them created a little family. Adam took care of the small mutants and taught them how to kill with their bare hands and to hack into any government computer on the planet. (It was okay though as Adam told them in his stern voice never to use their powers for the forces of darkness) And this was how they lived for a few years. Saving the occasional cat in a tree and then going home to watch old Batman reruns with Shalimar asking why they did not get to wear their underwear outside their clothes. (Jesse was always nice to point out that she did anyway) But then Manson's attacks got worse more violent and more frequent. The two mutants were not enough to protect the whole world. To make matters worse Adam had spent all the money he had stole from Manson on his new secret Sony sounds system addiction. They just kept on making better quality products (or at least making the old ones look prettier) and Adam just had to buy the products. 

It was then that Adam decided to recruit the last two mutants. He soon decided on Emma, a young and rather innocent telepath. She was powerful and so naïve that she would do anything Adam, Shalimar or Jesse told her to do. (Hours of fun if the three of them could actually come up with something interesting for her to do) Emma's only problem it was like her kryptonite; bad hairstyles. She was forever dyeing her hair and giving herself really bad fringes. It was just a problem they all had to live with.

Brennan joined next. Well he did not really join, in fact Adam never really liked him but he always seemed to follow Emma around and he was so large that Adam was scared to tell him to get lost. Brennan was powerful being able to throw pretty little electricity bolts through his fingers but he also was an arrogant male whore. Every morning the others used to see at least three women leave his room. Only Emma found this strange as wasn't the sanctuary meant to be a secret place but still Brennan brought women after women home and someone came round once a month to check the gas meter. (The gas man was braver than the postman and also paid a lot more) Life was pretty good for the now complete Mutant X. They saved the world from the mutant of the week or occasionally they battled Manson's army and then an orgy once they got home.

So they lived happily ever after… Except I'm not sure if they did I meant with Emma's bad hair, Shal and Brennan both being as dumb and easy as each other and Jesse being just plain annoying. I don't think the post man is all that happy either as his out of a job after losing an arm falling of the cliff while being chased by a young Shalimar. Hang on; I'm not even sure if Mutant X are the good guys. The good guys never have orgies or is that just boring people? Whatever the answers to these pointless questions I'm sure they will not be answered in Mutant X's most dangerous adventure yet…


	2. Leaps of reality

Authors notes- Hi everyone I'm back! Yes this is meant to be funny but I don't think it is, at all. This part is so not funny at all but read it anyway! Just to let you know it takes place at the end of the second series as I haven't seen any of the third yet (damn Britain being so slow to get Mutant X) Oh and the Manson person, Manson Eckhart? That's right isn't it or am I watching a totally different show to you lot? Anyhow be good readers, read.

It was cold, god it was the cold. Frigid winter wind ripped through the air. Circling their bodies rapping their long dragon like tails around the desperate peoples arms and legs. Slowly pulling them down. The light spray of ice-cold water went unnoticed to the frantic people but the sounds; the endless roaring sounds could not be ignored. The sharp whistle of the wind was accompanied by the engulfing whooshing sound of an angry, deep embodiment of dark water. The building made the worst noise of all. The slow creaks and impossibly loud thuds like thunder. The noises together were so loud they could not even hear their own screams of encouragement warning each other to hang on. This being difficult enough as the once magnificent building broke in half much like a child's toy but with the endless streams of dust and small lumps of god knows what it became impossible for them to even open their eyes. The insides of their mouths were dry and sore with all the shouting and the screaming but they carried on even as they felt their very throats being lined with dust. Their fingers red raw as they hang of the edge on finger tips alone. They really needed to let go as one finger seized up after another. A few might of cracked but it was so hard to tell with so much adrenaline running through your body. 

All they had to do was hold on. All they had to do was to stay away from the endless wet unknown beneath them. They just had to stay alive.

"EMMA!"

One was a falling, eye still glued on the rest of them. Her arms waved frantically as she fell. She looked like a red headed angle moving in slow motion. A look of pure terror on her frozen face. Then she disappeared under a dark blue wall of coldness…

"EMMA!" Brennan shouted quickly bringing his feet up to join him on the chair rubbing his socked toes. 

"Sorry Bren, didn't see ya feet there…" Emma shouted over her shoulder, as she was unable to slow down on her roller skates. It took her only a few seconds to disappear around yet another corner.

Brennan quickly suppressed the urge to cry about his sore toes as Shalimar and Jesse were sitting on the sofa next to him. He couldn't look weak in front of them, at least not when he was trying to act like his hero- Arnold Schwartenegger.

"Hey has anyone seen Adam" Shalimar said urgently before Jesse could tell her any more about his latest online date.

Brennan shook his head. "Last time I saw him he was sneaking in that room with the big honkin lock on it and the big sign above it saying 'Adam's secret games room- provided by Sony' I haven't seen him since."

"Oh" Shalimar said idly and the pair both sat in silence trying to think of a good conversation starter. They then sat there for a further ten minuets trying to get rid of their headaches. 

Shalimar suddenly perked up when Jesse got up to pick up his game boy. Amazingly he managed to stop walking just in time so that Emma could wiz past again with out running over his toes. Brennan was distracted from looking at Jesse with intense jealously and getting caught up in Shalimar's excitement.

"What is it Shal? Are you hearing something with your super strong feline senses?"  Jesse asked hopefully.

Shalimar frowned at him "No I've just got this feeling, um, what's it called… de jam something. Oh, you know when something feels like its happened before?"

"De jam voo" Brennan offered

Shalimar shook her head and looked at Brennan as if he was the stupidest person she had ever seen.

"Don't you mean déjà vu?" Jesse announced finally putting his game down.

He knew he was right when Shalimar started to nod enthusiastically. "Yeah that it! Ha" She snorted a laugh "That's a stupid word!"

Brennan also started to laugh leaving Jesse staring at both of them wondering what was so funny. After about five minuets he got bored and went back to his game.

"What is so funny everyone?" Emma's overly cheery voice sounded behind Jesse where she had just sat down with a creepily large smile on her face.

"Funny?" Brennan asked clueless. Emma winked at him. "Oh, I was only laughing because Shal was." He said quickly.

"You were? Well I thought it was funny. That word dumb ja…" Shalimar started.

"Déjà vu." Jesse said without even looking up.

"That's what I said" Shalimar eyed him darkly. "Anyway I was just gonna say I have this feeling that something real important and dangerous was happened a second ago but I don't know what."

Jesse had put his game down again now. "That's so cool. Maybe there is some one we need to help and they have linked with Shal telepathically, well I suppose Emma would be better for that… Oh! Or maybe it's like the episode of The X Files where they were reliving past lives. Or in The Outer Lim…"

Jesse was cut of as Emma whacked him hard around the head. He was about to complain then he saw the look in her eyes and turned back around scared. 

"I seem to remember, hanging, trying so hard to hold on and someone's hand on my ass. Damn that could have been any night this week!" Shalimar complained. 

"You know I had the same feeling earlier. I was skating past the secret Sony room and I skidded on the newly waxed wooden floor. And as I feel, I don't know suddenly it felt like I was falling into a load of water" Emma said.

"Oh my God!" Brennan suddenly shouted standing up.

"What is it?" The other three asked hoping that Brennan knew what was going on.

"Some how someone, or something has managed to clean the Sanctuary without us noticing! Yesterday it was my room now it's the floor! God, when will this cleaning madness end?" Brennan moaned.

"Maybe it's the ghost of Christmas yet to come trying to tell us that Christmas wont come if we are so messy all the time." Jesse said quickly moving out of the way so Emma couldn't hurt him.

"So we don't know what it is then?" Emma said with a raised eyebrow.

"Nope" Shalimar replied attempting to turn her head around three hundred and sixty degrees to watch a large piece of dust fall to the ground.   

"Oh" Emma replied. 

All of a sudden the Sanctuary started to shake violently around them. Furniture stated to slide to one side of the room and back again. The lights flashed on and off and pictures fell of the walls.

"Shit what the hell is going on?" Brennan asked ducking to avoid a falling decretive plant pot.

"We're being attacked by giant robots. It must be the postman! He always wanted his own back and one day I even saw him with a screw driver!" Jesse shouted falling over and grabbing Shalimar's leg pulling her over on top of him.

"Quick guys! Emma you go and do your mind mojo on the evil son of a bitch postman, Brennan you make smart ass comments to throw the evil mindless robots of their game and Shalimar you jump on them with those cool back flip things and put bombs on them and then…"   

"God Jesse shut up were not super heroes we are just normal people that risk our lives to save a bunch of idiots every week. I mean come on we don't even wear our underwear on the outside of our clothes!" Emma shouted at Jesse.

Shalimar raised her hand to protest but Emma cut her of before she could speak. "Shal just cos you wear your underwear on the outside it doesn't make you a super hero, just a whore."  Shalimar smiled agreeing with Emma.

Out of nowhere a computer swung through the air at Shalimar's head but before it could touch her she leaned back in slow motion so that it sailed over body. Shalimar's back clicked as she stood back up.

"See not superheroes," She said to Jesse sticking out her tongue. 

"Shouldn't one of us get Adam?" Jesse asked.

"Why? We don't know where he is or what is going on."  Brennan said.

"Are you people thick or something?" Emma shouted as the light above her head exploded. No one answered so she glared at them and carried on speaking, "This place is built on the edge of a cliff, it's a fuking earthquake!"

**DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!**

"Who said that?" Brennan complained as the Sanctuary began to crack beneath their feet falling slowly towards the edge of the cliff…


End file.
